The decision to turn your power over to someone else is a costly one.
Let me show you how to take it back!
We don’t intentionally make the decision to hand our power over to someone else, but many of us do it and without even realizing it. Let me give you an example:
The other day, I took some time for myself and headed to my neighborhood pond for solitude and a place to journal. One hour and four pages later, my area of unrest had finally reached the place of resolve through my journaling.
As I began to bask in my new-found peace, my solitude was interrupted by two young women in their mid to late twenties who were accompanied by three adorable little children who ranged in age from 2 to 6 years old. The two mothers and I struck up a conversation about the lake because their little children were leaning too far over the rail.
One of the young mothers indicated that if her daughter were to fall in, she wouldn’t go get her, she would just usher her to swim to shore. When I questioned her about this decision, she stated that too many people had told her that there were snakes in the lakes here in Georgia. She further shared that when she lived in Texas, she loved swimming in the lake. When I asked her if there were snakes in the lakes in Texas, she responded that she had never witnessed any.
The reason I am sharing this conversation with you, is because she has made a decision to not swim in the lake because of a fear of coming in contact with a snake.
Keep in mind, that she has not seen a snake here in Georgia, but because others have told her about snakes, she has not stepped foot into a lake here in this area.
Fast forward.. Because there were three children with these two young mothers, I inquired as to who owned which children. After receiving clarity on their ownership, the mom from Texas indicated that she had only one child, a daughter, and that she was considering having another one, but wasn’t really ready for another child.
She could see a look of curiosity on my face so she proceeded to explain her response. She indicated that her husband and family members had been trying to convince her to have another child, but it wasn’t something she really wanted to do.
It was at that point that my coaching hat came out of my duffle bag! (Figuratively speaking–I don’t have an actual coaching hat!)
I said to her, “Okay, so you have not stepped foot into a lake here in Georgia, even though you loved swimming in lakes in Texas, simply because certain people have told you that there are snakes in the lakes here in Georgia, correct?”
“That is correct“ she replied.
I further inquired, “Now, people are telling you that you should have another child, even though you don’t feel that you are ready to take on that responsibility, yet you are still considering it because of what others say?”
****She responds quite sheepishly, “I know! I’ve never been really good at standing up for what I really want.”
What or whom influences you to make the decisions YOU make and what glorious part of your life are you missing out on as a result?
Is it a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, a TV personality, a past hurt, an ill-informed associate?
Or could it be a self-sabotaging belief that limits your trust it making your own decisions for fear of the consequences?
After all, let’s face it, you’ve made decisions on your own in the past that didn’t turn out the way you planned, so you stop trusting in your own ability to make sound decisions. Because of this, you relinquished your own right to make choices and learn from them.
Your reliance on someone else making your decisions for you requires that you allow them to make a decision for you based on THEIR past experiences and not your own.
Okay, I get it. Sometimes we are afraid to make that next important decision for fear of what will happen. After all, It does necessitate taking a risk. The question then becomes, “do I continue to give other’s permission to dictate how I live my life, or do I find a way to make them on my own?”
If your choice is to make them on your own, allow me to share with you how to minimize your risk of failure. Not to get rid of it completely, because through failure comes growth. But minimize it in a way that your decision is based on what is best for you versus someone else.
You minimize your risk by asking God and including Him in the decision making process.
How often have you made a decision without consulting with God?
After all, isn’t He our ultimate Counselor? Whenever we submit our options, our dilemmas or our questions to God, He finds a way to answer us.
It may be through a Bible verse.
His answer may come to you through a word someone speaks.
It may even come as confirmation through a song or words written in a book you are reading.
Wherever it comes from, God has a way of guiding you in making the right decisions. We just have to trust that He will answer our prayer and help us through the decision making process.
Our problems escalate when we venture off and make decisions on our own, based on our own needs and desires versus His desires for us based on His needs.
The moment we realize that we cannot do this without Him, the more open we are to receiving His instruction and direction for our lives.
Let’s be honest, at least with ourselves…
What was the last decision you made where you failed to consult with God and things did not turn out so well?
In everything, we must go to God. He is not a God ONLY in the Bible. He doesn’t want to be the God who we come to ONLY in times of trouble. He wants to be with you at ALL TIMES, included in everything you do and in every decision you make.
Give yourself an advantage. Take the time to consult with God in ALL things. He doesn’t want to be a Sunday Church God or a meal prayer God. He doesn’t even want to settle for your prayers at night. He wants to be an all-encompassing God. He wants to be your father, your companion, your counselor, your confidante and your guide. Allow Him to guide you in making the right decisions. He only has your best interest at heart because
He loves you and you just happen to be one of his most prized possessions.
Pamela Byrd is a Staunch Advocate for Women and their God-given potential. She focuses on partnering with professional women who are adamant about learning how to set boundaries in their lives, in order to live it more abundantly.
She has an unwavering commitment to assisting women in their quest toward achieving something more. She has a discernible gift for helping others to uncover their value allowing them to move toward achieving their life’s goals.