Will your emotional outbursts be the legacy that you leave for your children?
The impact of our emotional outbursts have far-reaching consequences, far more than we may realize.
While God’s word offers many directives that are there for us to seek out and explore, I refer to them ever so gently as requests, or suggestions on how to behave. Here’s why:
God gives us free will. We can do whatever we choose.
What we have to realize however, is that there are consequences for every choice that we make. Failing to hold our temper when someone raises their temper against us is a choice that can lead to a myriad of consequences, not only for us, but for others around us.
I recently learned of an incident where two adult women who were living in the same household had an argument where tempers were flaring. As this episode escalated, these two women’s emotional outbursts resulted in aggressive physical contact, and trust me; this contact did not include hugs of affection.
This is sad in itself, but the saddest part about this was that there were two small children in the vicinity witnessing the entire argument. This is a memory that will be forever etched in their fragile minds, especially since both of these women were very loved and adored family members.
The sad result here is that these delicate children will grow up to believe that
people who love you will hurt you.
This is a dysfunctional response that needs to be addressed before it becomes further embedded in their impressionable minds.
I have seen many adults who exhibit this behavior in front of their children, thereby setting up a pattern of learned behavior where this cycle is repeated. These children will have more incidences of this nature believing that this is the way to handle conflict.
God’s word is clear:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:5-7
So you see our choice to escalate a situation based on our own inability to harness our emotions sets up a pattern of behavior that communicates a message far too dangerous in the effect it has on others around us. Our children and others that are observing us as an example are learning how to respond to emotional situations by the way we handle them.
I grew up in a single parent home where I saw verbal and physical abuse on a weekly basis. This pattern of learned behavior followed me into adulthood and in my role as a parent. It wasn’t until I realized the effects of my emotional outbursts on my children that I began to develop strategies to change the patterns that had been so deeply embedded in my psyche. Now, I help women to be ever so mindful of the role their emotions play in raising healthy children.
Taking the time to step back and assess an emotional situation can only take a moment, but an important one that can make a major difference in the lives of others around us.
Pamela Byrd is an advocate for human potential with an unwavering commitment to assisting women in their quest toward achieving something more.
She partners with companies and women by helping them to eliminate the “Drama Factor” that tends to sabotage their growth.
She has a distinct gift for helping others to uncover their value and regain their warrior status to move toward achieving their life’s goals.
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