Don’t Take My Giftedness for Weakness – Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Michelle Obama Establishes Boundaries

I WILL NEVER FORGET the day I saw a FB post about Michelle Obama addressing a heckler at an event where she was the guest speaker.  The event, the topic and the opinions of the heckler are irrelevant.  I don’t share my political views so for those of you who are staunch political proponents, please know that this is not about partisan politics.  The issue goes much deeper than that.

The issue I am addressing is one’s ability to establish appropriate boundaries in all areas of life.   

Whether we are in the public eye, or merely living our day to day lives, the respect we have for ourselves will determine the level of boundaries we establish with others.

Many of the women I partner with in moving from uncertainties in their life’s direction to a definiteness of purpose are now aware of the importance of establishing healthy boundaries in all areas of their lives.  This new awareness helps them to monitor other people or situations they may stand in the way of their forward progression.

Sometimes, the boundaries we need to establish should have been set a long time ago.  This does not mean that they can’t be established now!

The Use of Your Gifts Does Not Qualify You as a Doormat!

Removing Your "Doormat" Status

Removing Your “Doormat” Status

What we have to realize, is that we all have been blessed with innate gifts that enable us to do the work we were placed here to do.  These are spiritual gifts.  You may have 3 – 5 spiritual gifts operating at any given time.  Each of these gifts makes it possible for you to excel in your area(s) of service.

Unfortunately, if we are unsure of what to do with our gifts or lack the understanding of their significance, we tend to allow others to take advantage of them.

Michelle Obama has a spiritual gift of exhortation.  What I have come to realize through my work with spiritual gifts, is that 95% of the women I work with have this same gift.  This gift is commonly referred to as a gift of encouragement.  What most people don’t realize is that it is also the gift of conviction which gives you the ability to stand up and speak out on what is right.  If we are not clear on what each gift enables us to do, we will believe that others have the right to walk all over us.

A personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.

A personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.

Many times we fail to establish boundaries because we don’t understand what boundaries are.  Boundaries are a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.  It helps us to know who we are and who we are not.  Boundaries also allow us to make this clear to others.

If we grew up in an environment where boundaries were not established or our personal boundaries were trampled on, we continue this pattern of boundary abuse in our adulthood.  It’s extremely important that we learn how to create significant boundaries in order to live a life void of boundary abuse.

How do you know if you are in need of assistance with establishing boundaries?

Here’s an assessment that will help you to know where you are with establishing healthy boundaries in your life.

Curious about your results?  

I don’t blame you. Complete the information below and I will be happy to share your results with you.

clappingAs a woman who has done the work on learning how to establish significant boundaries,  my hat goes off to Michelle Obama for using her gift in a way that clearly demonstrates her ability to encourage while not allowing others to infringe on her personal boundaries.


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